Finally home from our trip to Seattle, we sit on the hard, wooden benches in the little waiting area at the vet's, staring at the open door just past the reception counter. We've paid the bill for Nicholas' boarding and now it's been five whole minutes, and they haven't brought us our dog yet. And that couple. The guy in the brown slacks and the girl in the jeans and sandals and qué será, será tattooed on the side of her foot. They're standing in my way. Between me and the door where, any second now, one of the ladies is going to appear with my precious doggy.
Tattoo foot lady is completely blocking my view.
I should say what will be will be, but goddamn it, I've been waiting for this moment.
I lean over and whisper in Stephen's ear, "She's blocking my view!"
I shift on the bench and try to look around her, but even though I can see through the door when I'm slanty (see through to where the ladies in back are milling around and decidedly not rushing to bring me my dog), it's ticking me off that I also have to have madame qué será, será right there in the almost middle of my vision. In a moment, I get up and move down to the next bench, where I have a clean shot again. Fuck you, qué será, será.
Stephen laughs, hesitates, finally joins me on the second bench. We sit and stare at the open door.
We sit and stare at the open door.
Under his breath, in a very quiet sort of low growl, Stephen says, "Give me my dog."
Qué será, será takes a couple meandering steps and suddenly - yes, of freaking course - she's standing right between me and door AGAIN.
I lean over and whisper in Stephen's ear, "Oh my god, oh my god."
Under his breath, "Give me my dog."
Now one of the ladies appears in the angelic light of the open door. For one tiny moment, I'm filled with joy.
Then I see that it's not a beautiful caramel-colored perfect-miniature-deer-like Chihuahua but some scruffy, bedraggled runt of a fluffball being returned to Qué será even though we got here first.
"There, now," the vet lady tells Qué será and Mr será as she lifts over the dog into the woman's arms, "keep a good eye on this tube. It's to drain the fluid. But he should be just fine."
"Oh, what a good boy," Qué será coos at him, "what a brave boy."
OK, I am a jerk.
The couple step toward the exit, and once they're gone, I've forgotten them and whatever their plight may have been and I'm back to staring at the open door.
Low, under Stephen's breath: "Give me my dog."
I mean after all, we've been away from Nicholas for one whole day.