we all do so many things

Came across this in a journal from 2015. I was feeling nostalgic and just started listing things I'd done. It was December, hence the first couple items in my list. I think we should all stop and do this sometimes.

Once I made a Christmas tree out of books.
Once I hung book-cut snowflakes in the windows of the City of Books.
Once I went up in the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
-In Tokyo.
-In Las Vegas.
Once I saw the Statue of Liberty, miniature, plastic, in some small town public park.
Once I was hit with the wrong end of a slapstick, the end with the cherry bomb, and caught on fire.
Once I ate pomegranate seeds in red wine.
Once I watched my mentor accept an award and propose to his partner at the Oregon Book Awards.
Once I stood with Laura Stanfill to acknowledge Forest Avenue Press’ fellowship at the Oregon Book Awards.
Once I had a story published in an anthology, and the story was used in a student paper.
-A college class.
-An audio book.
Once in the opera I was burned on a pyre.
Once I read at Powell’s City of Books (twice).
Once I rode in a helicopter.
-A hot air balloon.
-A propeller plane.
-A sleigh.
-A parade float.
-A vintage circus wagon.
-A four-seater airplane.
-The Bullet Train.
-A double-decker London bus.
-A race car tour around the Indy 500.
-A ship called the Arcadia.
-A speedboat, a float boat, a sailboat, a ferry, a row boat.
Once I watched an elephant ball the end of its trunk into a fist and rub its eye.
Once I was requested to pull shots for the gelato-maker’s Italian friends.
Once in the opera I screamed bloody murder and had a fight with the star and was dragged off stage.
Once I watched the Leonids with my brother Frank in the middle of the night from a lifeguard lookout on Balboa. I think it was Balboa. Also lying in the sand.
Once I stood in line and watched a movie at one of those midnight premiers (three times).
Once I won a Snoopy dressed like Boy George at an arcade in Vegas (OK, my sister Edina won it for me).
Once I got naked on Bay Ocean spit.
Once I made vol au vent and Stephen called it exquisite.
Once I designed a book cover (10).
-An album cover for a pipe organist.
-Promotional items for Powell’s Books.
-A web masthead (2).
-The facade for an amusement park in Florida (that was never made).
-The graphic for an invention called the “gown guard” (that was probably never made).
-A business logo.
-A coloring book (many).
-A coloring book whose pages got reprinted in a European (Swedish?) art book (I’ve tried to track it down, something about the Grock Foundation, but it’s so long gone).
-A street sign.
Once I ran around a circus ring dressed like Bill Clinton.
Once I sang in a mini flash mob but no one heard us.
Once I on-purpose bumped into Barbra Streisand in a restroom.
Once I sang in a Greek Chorus for one of the oldest pieces of music known.
Once I showed a painting in a gallery.
Once I read an essay on the oldest continuous feminist radio show in the country.
Once I slept overnight in a firehouse.
Once I took part in an intervention.
Once I changed planes alone in Tokyo.
Once I blurbed a book and the publisher printed it on the back cover.
Once I fell in love with a man in a dress.
Once I ate boiled peanuts from a greasy bag somewhere in the South.
Once after a car accident I walked all the way to the emergency room seeing auras but was lucky enough not to get a headache.

On his birthday, early journal entries about my dad with the spelling errors intact and my commentary in blue

1979

May 16—I got the new hamster today he has funny ears. My Dad gave me the idea to name him Bunny. He had long ears. The hamster, not my dad.

1982

September 5—By the way I am 5'1 brown hair brown eyes, slim built like my dad, and I look like a hardymon. Hardymons were my dad's mom's side of the family.

October 6—I was home from school sick.  I taped my music.  We had a birthday party for Dad.  We did a skit.  No one liked it.  I went to piano lessons.

1983

January 21—Heather & I went downstairs (Almost 12:00) to make a special drink for the McLittle Theatre's party. Dad came down & Heather saw his Head Around the door & screamed. I turned & saw Him & screamed. Our drink is milk vanilla extract & sugar.

March 20—We made mom & dad lunch while they were out. We made Salad, Hours durves, & an Entrée (crab & chease in French Bread). Heather went home. I saw "News Break," a fiction T.V. movie about an explosion. It was neat.

April 7—I'm also running against Julie F. for Hattie Bates (play) I'll tell you if I ever get to do tryouts. I was trying out for the lead in the class play even though I was the shyest kid in class. I went to Mrs. Lindstroms for a workshop but she wasn't home. The 2nd draft papers are due tomorrow. Dad typed my whole paper out for me on his computer! I wrote it & he copied it. I have the best dad in the world!

April 8—We had try-outs. (Class play stuff again) I got in the top 3, Julie, Audra & me to try out again next week. Mr. A said I did excellent! and everyone commented me. When I "interrupted Clapper" like dad said, Mr. A gave me the "O.K." sign

(The fact that Dad coached me - and particularly the suggestion that I interrupt the "Clapper" character, was why I ended up getting the part.)

1984

Well, it was Friday the 13th, today. Because I forgot to set my alarm, the night before, I woke up at 6:30 because my mom came in, thus gaining a half hour of valuable sleap. Because of my lateness in awakening, Dad drove me to school at 20 min. to 8:00, instead of the usual 7:15 buss. First period, Algebra, was fine. Next, Geography, I had a map test. I hope I did well. English was nice, as usual. Then, at lunch, I went to the lecture hall to get ready for my mime final. Odallas Lopez, another doing hers today, met me at the door. The last, Bart McHenry, came, a few minutes later. We did our faces and waited tensly for showtime. Being first, I did my mime, the Golfer, to the tunes of "Chariots of fire", "The Lone Ranger" & that little ditty you hear when something bad is coming in a cartoon or movie. The Odallas and Bart followed. French was fine. I got a critique paper. At home, We ate from McDonalds. Then I & Edina, went to Foot Hill's Drama production of "Up the Down Staircase" which was excellent. Back home again, I put my purse upstairs, Called Gayle to talk over araingments for tomorrow & went back down. Comming into the pool room, I heard sounds of music and dingings. Dad had the Jukebox on, playing pinball and so we ended the day with a long round of pinball (He got over 1 million on one game) to the jukebox. Whoever said that Friday the 13th was bad luck? Well, days like these really show me one of the meanings of life.

9/19/84 (10:02) We (mom, dad & I) have just sat down to watch the 1st St. Elsewhere of the year. Dad & I just worked on many computer things. He made me copies of each Toybox disk & a Dos 3.3. Now, we're working on a copy of the apple writer-disk. Toybox was a novel I was writing. 

Oct 7, (9:46, PM) Dad and I went to a football game today, (Rams against Atlanta) It was a great game. It was really close all through the whole game. Today, was when I was first introduced to "the wave". It was really neat. At the end of the game, the score was Rams-28, Atlanta-27 and there was about 7 seconds to go. Atlanta had the ball and had perfect position for a field goal. The croud shouted the seconds outloud but it was no use. They won. We all watched the debate of the President Reagan and Walter Mondale. From what I know, Mondale seems far better than Reagan but, most of the time, I don't know what they're saying.

Dec 9, 10:20, PM. Dad and I went to the best Rams' game today. Of course the Rams won (They played the Houston Oilers) but, that's not what made it so exciting. One player, Eric Dickerson, broke a record today, made by O.J. Simpson some 15 years back having something to do with how far he runs in a season. We were yelling 'Er-ic, Er-ic," until our throats were raw. I cheered and screamed so much. It was also the last season game except they won and get to go on playing. We drove home in the convertible with the top down. It was the greatest game!  

1985

4/20/85  Saturday. A long entry about other things, and then... Afterwards, the whole family plus Tina Anderson went out to see Beverly Hills Cop. I absolutely loved it. But, half way through it, of course, I had to go to the bathroom. I held it until the movie was over. Then, I learned that we were not allowed back into the theatre. We had to wait until we got home. When Mom, Dad, and I got finished with the toilets, back home, Dad turned to me and said:

“Mom and I agree that there is no feeling as good as a good pee.” 

 I agreed

Book cover: Mr. Neutron

A while back, I designed a book cover for the story collection Planet Grim, written by Alex Behr and published by 7.13 Books (coming out next week!). When the publisher at 7.13 approached me to design the cover for their next book, Mr. Neutron, I jumped at the chance because they're just lovely to work with.

Also, I was very intrigued by what I was hearing about the book. Here's the description:

In the smallish American city of Grand River, things are not so grand. The river is hopelessly polluted. City officials are in the pockets of oligarchs. And its best hope for meaningful change is a platitude-spouting eight-foot giant named Reason Wilder running for mayor.

Gray Davenport, a veteran political operative, isn’t faring much better than his hometown. His wife is about to leave him. He’s working for a mayoral candidate who has no chance to win and who can’t even pay for Gray’s services. When Gray notices that Reason may not be human, Gray embarks on a quest to uncover the truth about Reason’s mysterious origins, and the truth promises to change Grand River and Gray forever.

A satirical mashup of Frankenstein and Veep, Mr. Neutron is a hilarious genre-bender that speaks to the unpredictable nature of American politics today.

I consulted with publisher Leland Cheuk and writer Joe Ponepinto. They were interested in a minimalist cover that was mostly text and the shadow of Reason looming over it all. In fact, Joe sent me a shadow shape as an example, and I liked it so much I decided to use it.

Because Mr. Neutron is satire, I wanted the text to be "off" in some way, crooked or uneven, so I broke Neutron into two pieces and set them a little off-kilter. Then I set the Mr. and the author name at slants that purposefully didn't line up.

Mr. Neutron comes out in March of 2018. Here's a little taste:

Monterey Jack? Hmm.

Now there was a name. It bubbled with testosterone and reeked of sweat. Monterey Jack, he of the three-day stubble and flower-wilting breath, the meanest, toughest hombre who ever stalked the Sierra Nevadas in search of silver, women and whiskey. A man with a name like that ate raw horseflesh; he cleaned his toenails with a Bowie knife. He feared no man, no challenge; needed no sidekick to help him through. Monterey Jack was a name a man could wear like a bandana, a name that swaggered, that defied convention, and was so much more of a handle than his own, inanimate tag. Monterey Jack wouldn’t stand in the back of the room. He wouldn’t need a place to hide. He’d kick chairs and tables out of his way, and then the crowd would clear a path for him, huddling against the bar to let him pass. Monterey Jack would jangle his spurs right up to Reason.

But, no. He was Gray. Dull as a sunless, rainy afternoon. A product of his mother’s promiscuity and dyslexia. She had meant to honor her father, Gary. But it went down as Gray, and burdened him with all the dreariness the word implies. And Davenport to boot, as in, Ms. Davenport, are you sure of what you wrote on the baby’s registration? And when she answered yes, Gray Davenport was sentenced to a life as a blandly upholstered sofa, something to be sat upon by asses of all weights and configurations. From childhood on he endured the questions and the jokes. New acquaintances tried their best to be witty at his expense, turning his name into a weather report or an ad for cut-rate furniture. He always did his best to ignore it, sometimes laughed to show he could take the ribbing and get along with the ex-frat boys and sorority sisters who populated the halls of influence in this stratified city as he tried to claw his way up the ladder of political success. But inside, where it counted—where it hurt—he added these rubes to his “list”—an ever-lengthening mental inventory of those who’d offended him, and against whom he would someday, somehow, exact revenge in all its living-well-is-the-best-type glory. So far, however, that plan had disappointed, and Gray continued to hate them all for who they were, as they surely would have hated him for who he wasn’t, had they bothered to acknowledge him at all.

More information on 7.13 Books is here. You can check out author Joe Ponepinto here.

a moment in the day: done. kind of.

I skid the chair back and get up from the desk and go downstairs but I don't know quite what to do with myself.

It's three o'clock and I haven't showered and I haven't eaten. I need to eat because I promised Stephen I would make one of the eggs our neighbor brought us from his very own chickens. Also, what do you know, I'm starving.

I go down to the basement and pull out a bottle of Veuve Clicquot. A lovely Christmas present. The bottle is sheathed in its own bright orange box. I take the box up the stairs and into the bedroom and take a picture of it next to the movie we will be watching tonight, even though Stephen doesn't know it.

Too Late for Tears, with Lizabeth Scott in the lead and Dan Duryea as Danny Fuller, the weasely tough who she ensnares in her femme fatale trap.

I don't know why I decided to name all the characters in my novel after this and other Lizabeth Scott noir films, but that's what I did, and after working on the book all day, I think I owe it to my characters Lizabeth and Scott  and Danny and Fuller and my protagonist Emmie Pennock (cobbled from Lizabeth Scott's real first name and her mother's maiden name) to watch it tonight.

I put the champagne in the fridge and take the dog out. Nicholas sniffs around the backyard shrubs. The sky is blue and full of big fluffy clouds. I kind of want to cry but that feels silly, so I take Nicholas inside and start making an egg. It's weird finishing a first draft of a novel. It feels momentous even though it's really just a tiny step in a project. The ending might not even stick. Still, it feels like a moment, and every moment deserves a little recognition.

Cover Re-Reveal: Parts per Million

Sometimes when you think you're done, you've only just begun. Recently we released the cover art for Julia Stoops' upcoming novel Parts per Million. Then we went back to the drawing board and came up with a completely new one.

The new design features writer Julia Stoops' art. She gave me two different pieces to choose from, in full color and various monochrome versions, and in the end I combined the two pieces. Featured in the art is Nelson, the main protagonist in the book. It was fun to play around with Julia's art. I'm a huge fan. You can see more of it here.

Publisher Laura Stanfill wrote about that process on the Forest Avenue Press website here.

on her birthday: early journal entries about my sister edina, with spelling errors intact and my own commentary in blue

1978
May 18—Edina fell over on the bed on a chair. The table on dad's side fell. I scremed once and in the night dad tirned on the Light it exploded from edina put clay on the bulb.

1979
July 26—Today I went skiing. Someone called us. Heather and Edina played in the row boat on the way our gass started to leak then it started to rain. I got under the steering wheel. CoCo pulled us to shore. I helped the Lady in the other boat to find CoCo's car keys to get something. I thank God for that adventure. In the summers we visited our grandparents at their house on a lake in Virginia.

1981
April 16—We practiced our play for Edina. She came home early and we screamed. it was with our guys. We used my Backy (Blanket). We sold things cheep The we here was my cousin Heather and me. Our guys was what we used to call our stuffed animals. 

September 29—Edina's birthday is tomorrow. She's getting a bird he's a pretty bird.

1982

April 26—Edina stayed home from school. She saw Paul McCartney on a talk show. Paul McCartney and Stevey Wonder have recorded a new song "Ebony & Ivory." I'm glad that he's not just a memory.

August 14—We are at Noni & Coco's house. Edina skis better than any one exept Freddy. Aunt Sally, Uncle Alex & Nana was here. We sang and played piano before going to bed. It was so much fun!

August 15—We skied & fished. Edina makes me so mad! She is bragging & she got mad at me for suggesting for she & I swiching drowers & I got in trouble for it!

October 2—We saw E.T. 6th time for Edina's birthday. I didn't cry as much. They had the sound on sterio. Edina had an E.T. cake. I got a piece with E.T.'s eye. Mom gave everyone an E.T. poster. I used to judge how much I loved my favorite movie E.T. by how much I cried each time I saw it.

December 11—We went shopping at the mall. Secretly Heather Edina & I went & got olde fassioned pictures taken. One for Mom & dad from all of us & one for Kathy & Mike. Then mom Found out & had us do it again with Frankie for some people. We got to dress up & pose. We didn't smile the 1st time but 2nd time Mom wanted us to. It was so much fun!!!

1983

March 8—Edina got special (Ladybug). I got 3 Cs on my progress report. I sang about being cool. Edina started me off. I'm reading "Skeleton Island." Mom put us on a no sugar diet. Ladybug was one of the favorite video games we played at the time.

May 20—Because of parent-teacher conferences, we had no school today. Edina's friend Jenny came over. I started to clean out my drawers. I worked at Mom's "French Pantry. It was slow. When we got home, Dad, Edina and I swam. We took turns pulling each other by the feat. It was fun. It felt quiet and relaxing. We pulled each other softly around. It was fun!

1984

Feb 7 brought news that Mom is finaly going to sell the restaurant. On the weekend, Edina & I went to the Ocean side house by train with Heather. We exchanged and looked at each other's star scrapbooks

(Nov 2 6:41 AM) I dreamed I died and had to be taken to a place where I'd make the transition from this life to something else. Mom said she would help me get through the transition and the hardest part which she called something like "the forest". She said she'd come with me. I was wandering about, looking for pictures of Edina and Frankie. Somehow, I knew I'd see them soon. It's funny because before I went to bed last night I was thinking how beautiful life is.

1985
3/6/85 (9:38) P.M I bought some earings from Edina—2 pair for 5:00, She & Tina are now in the earring business. But, I won't knock it. They've got a good little business going. Tina provided all the old jewelry and they made them into earrings. It's great. The best gaudy bead and rhinestone earrings around.

March 17—Edina dreamed, last night, that she was on an island with me, and a guy who looked like Julian Lennon. And, he and I went to see what was at the other side, and some man pushed Edina into the water & began to choke her, but she got away. And, we came back & told her we found some land at the other side. He kicked in a door to some room or something, and there was the man who tried to choke Edina. Julian Lennon fell in the water, or something, and I jumped in after him. And, then, there were sharks in the water with us, and Edina came in after us & knocked the sharks' teeth out.

Well, I dreamed we (Edina, Heather & I) were going to be made into worms.

Good Friday 8:07 A.M.—I’m in Edina’s room with her, listening to We are the World. She just taped it off of the radio. This is now the #1 song. And, all the money is going to Ethiopia.

I went downstairs this morning & Mom said the radio stations all over the world are going to play it 10 minutes ‘til 8:00. I rushed upstairs and switched on KRTH really loud. Edina put on KIIS really loud. I then dashed into Chandler’s room and put on KRTH on the 2 radios in his room. We switched on M.T.V. upstairs and Mom switched M.T.V. on downstairs. I then opened my balcony and Edina’s and Frankie’s window. The song came on. It was alittle off from station to another, but that didn’t matter. We turned up the radios as far as they would go. It was great. Dad came in my room and told me to change the station around. Almost every station was playing it. There were approximately 80,000. They were even playing it on Muzak stations—in supermarkets and elevators!

We’re now in my room, and I’m taping it for Edina and for myself—the exact copy when it was played all over the world.

One things for sure. It’s true we’ll make a brighter day—just you and me.

a moment in the day: bill

Saturday morning, and just about time for Stephen to leave for work. I come down the stairs to say goodbye, quick footsteps of Nicholas on the steps behind me. We come into the dining room. Just around the corner in the little den-slash-clothing room, where our bureau is and our clothing racks since there are, as of yet, no closets in this house, Stephen is singing.

I used to dream that I would discover
The perfect lover someday.
I knew I'd recognize him if ever
He came 'round my way.

I wait in the dining room as he dresses and sings, not wanting to disturb. His lovely, clear voice. Singing to himself, quiet, in a way that seems to tell me he's actively enjoying the simplicity of the song.

I always used to fancy then
He'd be one of the god-like kind of men
With a giant brain and a noble head
Like the heroes bold
In the books I've read.

It occurs to me after listening for some time that this isn't the kind of song most husbands of women sing.

Odd, I guess, that I never find it odd: the love songs he sings about men, the dresses he paints himself in, the blog posts he constructs of paintings and old pictures of sexy male figures.

Odd, I guess, that our normal is something I don't find at all odd anymore.

Nicholas stares at me to tell me he wants me to pet him, so I do.

Oh, I can't explain,
It's surely not his brain
That makes me thrill -
I love him because he's - I don't know...
Because he's just my Bill.

Stephen steps out of the den to find me sitting cross-legged on the floor, with Nicholas, a surprise audience. Noticing me, he jumps and punctuates the end of the song with the bang of his feet on the dining room floor.

He laughs. I laugh.

He leaves for work.