Tuesday, October 31, 2017

On her birthday, early journal entries about my mom with the spelling errors intact and my commentary in blue


1978

January 14—I woke up. I ate breakfast. got the mail. It said: it is a chain letter. Mom helped me do what it said. We checked my rocks and put them in a thing with silver stuff and prackticed magic. Then watched T. V. This might be my first diary entry ever. 

1979

May 6—I went to the beach and home. Showed Mom Jackie Weaples. I think this was a game I made up that was like jacks but using weaples. Do you remember weaples? They were pompoms with eyes and feet.

1980

May 1—I did a tape some time ago of me singing Tomorrow.  Today I listened and Mom did too.  She said it sounded like me.  I listened.  I sound like Annie—a 10 year old singing star who is in a play!

1981

May 27—Jamie Reding got her period.  I'm jealous.  Mom says she'll get me some things just incase I do.  She might get me a bra soon too!

June 1—Dear Diary, I'm getting more and more anxious to grow up. Mom says that I'm growing faster every day I sure hope that I can change my personality.

July 6—I predicted a song on the radio. I got to bring food to customers at Mom's resturant the Friench Pantry.

1982

May 16—I got a Panda Plant. Mom got me an entry blank for the astrosmash shoot off. Astosmash was a video game I was very good at. 

August 16—I got up on the slalom for the 1st time this year. I did it on my 4th try, Coco honked the horn. Mom skied 1st time this year they honked the horn for her too. 

October 31—Halloween. Lucy (Mom's) birthday. I came home. We finished sound effects. I taped over something on one side and both taped what I taped & what I taped over. We decorated. We bobed for apples. We didn't make pop corn balls. We split up the E.T. cards (treats) Today marked an evolution in Halloween as we know it. Almost no one trick or treated. I think the sound effects were something having to do with decorating the house for Halloween, like we kids taped ourselves making ghost sounds or something.

1983

March 7—After school I had a long talk with Mom about life. I got special on "Ladybug". (Another video game.) We got a new girl in our class (Shelby). Gayle called her a slut! (I don't think she likes her)

March 19-—Mom got mad at us for not being responsible. We cleaned the house & made a card (a leaf) saying "We're turning over a new leaf" & put it out with flowers.

April 21—I was so mad. Gayle & Julie & her group were making fun of me. I got mad & I should get mad. Gayle gets mad because I'm mad because of what she says & does. I told mom & she showed me a form of self-hypnosis! She says we have different parts of our personalities. She said give your strong, brave, happy part a name. She had "Susan" & I chose "Jenni". You imagine the sad or mad or shy part (with a name or without) knocking on a door & don't let them in. Say and see the name of your best part (Jenni) over & over in your mind. Make the other names disappear or go back in your head, lay or sit with your legs not touching & hands not touching. When Mom was trying it at home for the 1st time, Frankie who was 3 yrs. old at the time came in and said "Who's that woman? Who's the woman knocking at the door? Don't let her in!" he closed all of moms doors & shutters & looked at mom & said "But it's you Mommy, the woman is you."

P.S. My tooth came out. 

1984

It's April 1, April Fools day. I had an enormous weekend. Thats all I could say for it—enormous. I'll start with Friday. Well, Mom finaly sold the French Pantry. Its no longer ours—now its 'MJC's salad & wine bar.' We had a party for the old restaurant. All (well most) of the people who ever worked there, came and had a great time. Colleen brought Sean over & I took most of the night babysitting him.

9/14/84 (5:52 AM) I woke up at 5:47 as always but as I passed Mom & Dads room, they were not still asleap in it. Their beds were made, the room was clean, and they weren't in it. So, I started down stairs. Something's happened, I told myself with dread, someone died. Because, why would they be up like this? They usually get up at 6:10. I found dad in the computer room. Mom isn't at home. When I asked what happened, he informed me that Mom has gone to the hospital with Carmen who's going to have her baby.

1985

3-25-85 9:16 PM
....What makes a person, I think, is not looks or talent or brains, but morals and personality. After all, when the body is gone, the real you still lives on. And that is your soul—you.

I have been described as “nice” by many people. But, what am I really like—the real me—? I guess I have many different personalities. To different people, I am different. I’m still a kid. Heck, no matter how old I get, I will still not understand myself fully.

I have been known to be grumpy, at times, but I don’t think I am any more grumpy than anyone else. If anything, I have been known to be a cheerful person. Tonya was surprised when I got flared up about Tricia saying my clothes are weird, always. She said it was the first time she had seen me angry. I think many people this year don’t picture me getting upset. Some of that is because I am so much happier with life this year than I was last year.

Mom always acuses me of being pessimistic. And, that is probably true. If something good could happen, I say it won’t. And part of that is because of my pride, which is alittle too high. If it doesn’t happen, I don’t want to have thought that it would. I’m working on that.

But, basically, I think I’m a pretty mature person. Sure, I have my faults, as does everybody (does Julian Lennon?) but I’m working on all of them.

April 7

I went down stairs, got out a couple of disks, switched on the computer, and made a couple changes on the old man story. I still have to give this story a name. I want the name to be as equally symbolic as the story. I thought of using the idea of the falling star in the title, because the stars shooting across the sky are a very big part of the symbolism in the story. But, every ‘star’ry title I come up with sounded wrong because the word star also means a celebrity, and if I named it something like “Fallen Star” or “When a star falls”, it also sounds like a fall of a great celebrity, which my old man was not.

I printed out a copy of it, when I finished revising, and gave it, once again, to Mom for proofreading. She said it was better, but there are still brown spots in the banana. I am begining to wonder if I will ever finish this story. Oh, but, I am so glad she is doing all this reading and telling me what she thinks is wrong with it. God, I am grateful to her for doing this. I mean, it must get boring once and a while. Now and then, she must look at that story and think to herself, oh, God, not again. So much credit goes to her for telling me what to change. I think, if I could dedicate a short-story to someone, I’d write in the dedication space for this one:

To my mother, Lucy Little, who’s practically done half of the work.

Saturday, 4/13/85 Morning.

....which reminds me of the conversation we had while eating blueberries this morning. Mom kept talking about me being such a good person, for a teenager. It may have embarrassed me when she said it, but I sure hope it’s true, and not just mother-talk.

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