December 31, 1979
Frank and Mom found a stray puppy and brought it
home a month or something aft Gertrude died.
But we aren't going to keep the stray.
I call her Shoepolish.
January 1, 1981
I named my diary Mandy. Anne Frank named hers too. January 1, 1982
Dear Amanda, the year of 1982 has just hit. Happy New Year!
December 31, 1982
Good Buy, 1982!!
January 1, 1983
It is now 1983. Happy New Year! I resolve to be a nicer, more outward person. I am a shyish person, but I resolve to become less shy. We had a party at my cousin Heather's lake house. It was my family, Heather's & the Macys. We took a boat ride & had a foot ball pool. Frankie & Ev Macy won!!! When we went to the dock there was slush on the ground!!!! (This is California!) "so what???" I prayed for snow & in a way I got it!
December 31, 1983
It is New Years eve. We are at Heather's lake house in front of the big screen T.V. This weekend, starting Thursday, We & Lizehte & the Macy's (Ryan & Tom) went to the lake house with Heather, went to a Swap meet (bought Navy hats which we are wearing now) & hiked in the hills, playing "An Officer & A Gentleman". I don't know weather to be happy or sad. I know I should be happy on New years eve. And I am going out of this year but I'm also going into another. I know there will be more lonliness and hard schoolwork. But this past year hasn't been that bad. Oh! Now here comes the ball dropping into 1984. 10 seconds! 9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1… As I look over my past year, I see many different times and emotions. I don't think there is an emotion that I haven't felt. I've felt angry, afraid, surprised, excited, and most of all, happy and sad. Many different things have happened to me. I got the lead in my 8th grade play. I started high school. I lost a friend. I tryed to start new friendships. I had an operation. I attended my grandfather's wedding to Jen, my new grandmother. I made many goals, some of which I dumped on the 2nd day. I continued with writing books all through the year, my books being "Marna Terrace", "Misty Terrace", "Toybox", "Armistice", and "Cloth Rose", a book started but not finished.
Even though my likes changed throughout the year, different musics, different book plots, I am still the same person now, that I was when the ball first struck 1983, last year. I really wish that I could change and be the person who I am inside and not just who comes out.
The person who comes out is small and quiet. The person inside is quite different but I can't seem to figure out exactly who she is. I am a totaly different person to every one I talk to. I don't know who exactly I am.
After Christopher's death, I began to realize that we have but one lifetime and so many things we want to do and expiriance; so many people we want to be; so many profesions we want to hold. We have to figure out what we want. We each must begin expiriancing now. We mustn't throw our whole life away. We must do and remember.
Possibly someday I will do everything I've wanted to do. Maybe someday my life will brighten. But now, I must learn to cope well with what problems I have now and possibly, somewhere in the future, my life will be different.
But for now, I think, despite the hardships in life, I think I'll continue living.
December 31, 1984
Well, it's, once again, New Years Eve. On the stroke of midnight, It will become 1985, a new year to laugh and cry in, to survive in. A new year to work through. A new year of new books, new interrests, same old thing.
Well, I have lived through 1984 and have not seen hide nor head of Big Brother. Perhapse, we'll not even reach George Orwell's 1984. Maybe we'll reach armageddin first. Anyway, I'm glad we haven't reached it, at least yet.
